Jokes thread

[Admin_Holden]

I thought I might create a jokes thread in this section...

What is the only car that can drive in water?
A fjord.

[fordman6]

I thought I might create a jokes thread in this section...

What is the only car that can drive in water?
A fjord.

Ha ha ha, quite the jokester aren't you?

do you know the real use for a 7.0L LSwhatever?

an anchor!

302kw from a 5.4L and HSV HAS to go 6.0L to get 307...

Ci ain't the only way to get Kw / Nm...

[--->Da[V]id<---]

Ford aren't any better themselves, they need big BOSS engines to compete with the LS2's.

[fordman6]

Ford aren't any better themselves, they need big BOSS engines to compete with the LS2's.

Plz enlighten me how a 5.4L is BIG compared to a 6.0L?...

[fordman6]

arh, cool down actually! don't make me close this thread!

*yes boss*

[T.A]

I thought I might create a jokes thread in this section...

What is the only car that can drive in water?
A fjord.

I don't get it.....

[Admin_Ford]

A girl is out doing her shopping, when she is stopped at the checkout by a guy behind her. 'You're single, aren't you?' The guy said. The girl replies 'Yes....' but sees nothing in her shopping that suggests that she is single. 'How did you know?' She asked. 'Because you're ugly.' The guy replies.

[Admin_Holden]

I thought I might create a jokes thread in this section...

What is the only car that can drive in water?
A fjord.

I don't get it.....

A fjord is a Norwegian river.

[T.A]

OOOOhhh........Hahaha! Hahahaha! I still don't get it......oh wait.....nope, not happening....don't worry, I should get it someday.

That ugly chick one was verr verr funny! Funny funny laugh times!

[--->Da[V]id<---]

A girl is out doing her shopping, when she is stopped at the checkout by a guy behind her. 'You're single, aren't you?' The guy said. The girl replies 'Yes....' but sees nothing in her shopping that suggests that she is single. 'How did you know?' She asked. 'Because you're ugly.' The guy replies.

That's a good one. JOKE OF THE DAY!

[Admin_Holden]

And fjord is pronounced like Ford!

[T.A]

Now I get it. Don't you hate it when you have to explain jokes!

[Admin_Holden]

Yeah.

Here's one you'll get T.A:

What do Russians use to wipe their face?

A soviet!

[T.A]

I get that one!

[T.A]

A clown goes to the doctor and says, "I feel funny."

[Admin_Holden]

Let's hope he is!

[T.A]

A burglar was sneaking through a house one night when he heard the screechy words
"Jesus is watching you..."
He almost had a heart attack, he thought he was busted, but no, nothing transpired so he thought he must have just been hallucinating from the adrenaline, so he went back to relieving the owners of the house of their goods, and heard it again...
"Jesus is watching you..."
This time he shone his torch around and saw a bird who repeated
"Jesus is watching you..."
The burglar was dumb founded and vastly relieved, it wasn't the owners, it was the bird...
"...And what's you name little fella?" the burglar inquired.
"Moses" replied the bird.
"What kind of moron would name a bird Moses?" The burglar chortled in disbelief.
To which the bird replied "The same moron who named a Rottweiler Jesus..."

[Admin_Holden]

I could laugh all day at that!

[Admin_Holden]

Here's one:

A man went to the doctors to sort out his burnt ears. The doctors ask him what happened and he says "I was doing the ironing and the phone rang and I answered the iron by mistake!" The doctor said "But you burnt both ears!" The man said "As soon as I put the iron down the phone rang again."

And another:
Policeman: Sir, you were doing 100mph.
Man: Impossible! I've been in the car for 5 minutes!

[fordman6]

you guys make me laugh....

[T.A]

I love the Ears one!

[fordman6]

Here's one:

A man went to the doctors to sort out his burnt ears. The doctors ask him what happened and he says "I was doing the ironing and the phone rang and I answered the iron by mistake!" The doctor said "But you burnt both ears!" The man said "As soon as I put the iron down the phone rang again."

Theres a video on YouTube to go with that, Hoppa might have the link, PM hm...

[Admin_Ford]

Here you are!

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=duhnv0euJTk

EDIT: Aw, for f**k sake! HTML aint working (but it works in previews, wtf?)

[A.S.I.C]

just me or the jokes just finished here on bens old forum he knows which im talking there was like what 7 pages of jokes

[Admin_Holden]

Okay then...
Little Billy is sitting in church one day and needing to take a piss he goes to his mum and says "Mummy, I need a piss". His mum goes "Son, don't use words like that in church. Next time say whisper.
The next week Billy is again dying for a piss and he tells his dad "Daddy, I have to whisper." The father goes "Okay son, whisper into my ear..."

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